You know, camps coming up… same week as last year… and im scared to go. I cant go.. Because I cant be reminded of that day. That week. When I thinka bout camp, all I thinka bout is you.. All this toment because of your stupid decision… I don’t care anymore. I don’t freaking care if people read this and say “there she goes again, being sad about the girls death” I don’t think they understand! I don’t think they understand the pain I feel from it.. I don’t think they understand how alone I feel….
I never got a chance to say goodbye yanno? You did. I got to hear it.. I got to hear it 6 hours to late…to late to do anything…Loosing a best friend is difficult, but it’s a lot harder to do when you don’t get a goodbye..
Why did you do it? I understand the pain you were going through. I know how you felt, like the world and everything else where coming all down…I know... Why couldn’t you wait for me to call back? I was sure to help… I could've helped... It wasn't worth it! it was only a time in your life, it wasn't going to take over you for the rest of your life. Did you think no one cared? I cared, I still do.
I know this hurts dear...in my instance I was thankful enough to get a phone call and stop it from happening with one of my friends.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't something to say this occurrence isn't good enough to mourn over, nor is this a chance for me to say get over it...in my job and college education I know EVERYONE'S mourn clock is different, and it takes longer for some than others...we can't tell someone how long they should be mourning...but we can help make it lighter for you.
Shawna's death was her choice, and if her choice was so set in her mind, no one would have changed it. There are two types of people...those that call because they want to be stopped, and others that call because they won't stop. It sounds like you couldn't have stopped...because if she wanted to she would have kept calling until she had her excuse not to do it. It's not your fault it happened...it wasn't your choice to make.
She was lucky to have a friend like you by her side, but we need to rejoice in the life rather than the death. That's what being a Christian is all about. Keep talking girl.