I'm just happy.

I've decided I'm not going to leave this blog. despite all the crap that's gone in it. Why should I run from it? I shouldn't be scared of how big the storm is, I should be looking at the storm and telling it how big my God is.

I've got some news, pretty exciting if I do say so myself. See, at summer camp that was the first time I accepted God into my heart, but somewhere along the way in these past six months I've started focusing on other things. See I feel as though God has a plan for us, but so does Satin. And I feel like I've been on Satins plans, but this needed to stop. So, I've started reading his book. And I heard this quote that went " If you don't understand the bible, get to know the author" and that's what I needed to do. So I read, and I read from John which gave me a bit more of an understanding of what Jesus did while on earth and a bit more of an idea of God's love for each and everyone of us.

And well, it just hit me. It hit me like a punch in the face. Which might not be a good metaphor for such an amazing thing, but I'm kinda lacking in the metaphor area (stupid poet myth) but anyway, It hit me that. Though I've been completely engulfed in this storm of painful moments, there's been someone here, beside me, behind me, in front of me, and above me. I needed this to hit me. I needed that moment. It was two days ago, where I just laid it down. I don't have to go at this alone, I don't need to feel like everything is my fault, I don't need to feel worthless, like I'm not needed around here. Because God wanted to take that off my shoulders, he wanted to help me through it. So I layed it all out, and cried. I said I was sorry for turning my back, but I know I had already been forgiven...

And yanno what? I instantly felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Like I could breathe again. I got a good nights sleep for once in many months, and the next day, something I had been worrying about for a couple weeks, ended. All the worrying with it went away because everything had turned out well.

Today, I got faced by someone, saying I wasn't an real christian. And to be honest I hadn't been for a few months but right now all i have to say is;

Just because you don’t see anything happening, doesn’t mean that God isn’t working in me. I may not be where I wanna be, but I am so glad im not where I used to be… be patient with me, God isn’t finished with me yet.

God's got my heart, and Im not running this time, Im not going to run like I did last time. Im not going to only be a Christian on Sundays.. Today and every day will be God's will, nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else.

Every person faces difficulties throughout their life. Despite our circumstances, and with God's help, we can choose to be better instead of being bitter.

So right now, I feel like I've started back on God's plans for me and not Satin's. I feel happy. I feel ready to face what ever comes my way. I've got the best friend anyone could ask for. I've got a lifeguard that walks on water. (: